Her jokes
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance on the cliff, so I pushed her over because I lost my balance!
If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.
Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!
"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."
My girlfriend accused me of cheating, and I said to her, "You're starting to sound like my wife."
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Yo mama so fat and emo, we call her the rock and roll.
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.