Her jokes

Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

Yo mama's so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.

I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!

How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.

My sister lost two things today:

1: Her virginity.

2: Her job at the zoo.

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?

Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.

I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

Why doesn't the witch wear panties?

To get a better grip on her broom stick!

What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...

Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.