Her jokes

Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

Yo mama so OLD...

Her first Christmas... WAS the FIRST CHRISTMAS!

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”

DAMN YOU PESSI!

I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.

I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"

I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

Your mom is so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.

How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.

My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."

What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.

What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?

“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...