Her jokes

Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."

Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!

What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?

Grounded beef.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

Yo mama so fat even Nationwide can't be on her side.

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."

Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!

Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?

Have a look at her face!

The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.

A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.