Her jokes

Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?

Her dad always comes back.

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

Yo mama so fat even Nationwide can't be on her side.

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."

Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?

Have a look at her face!

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

Why does the Avon lady walk funny?

Because her lipstick!

There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!

What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?

Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”