Her jokes

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.

Bro, yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap her out of existence.

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

Yo mama's so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)

Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.

How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.

A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:

"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"

The girl, showing her arm:

"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"

Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"

How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.

"Yo mama is so fat that when I buried her, she made the Earth round."

Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.

Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?

A belly button.