Her jokes

Who did the bee 🐝 marry?

Her honey!

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.

What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?

Beth-la-ham

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.

Bro, yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap her out of existence.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Fuck her hahaha 🤣

Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)

A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."

He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

She says, "Yes, I am."

He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)

Yo mama's so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.

A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:

"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"

The girl, showing her arm:

"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"

How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.

Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.