Her jokes
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.
Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."
If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.
Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.
Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?
They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!