Healthcare jokes
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?
A. May your baby rest in pieces.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.
Just to test their patients.
I got kicked out of a hospital once. I told all the COVID patients to stay positive.
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.
My abortion.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
Let me just remove my finger from your bottom.
Thank you, nurse!
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.