Healthcare jokes
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.
Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.
Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!
Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??
Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?
A. A homesick abortion.
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!