Health jokes
Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Why did the other Down syndrome guy say to the other Down syndrome guy?
What is going on here?
Breakfast! 😂
What’s worse than a girl getting a period?
A boy getting a period.
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.
Erectile dysfunction.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
Q. What do rape victims miss?
A. Part of their brain.
How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?
U shove them down his throat. 🤣😂
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.