Health jokes
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Why did the other Down syndrome guy say to the other Down syndrome guy?
What is going on here?
Breakfast! 😂
What’s worse than a girl getting a period?
A boy getting a period.
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.
Erectile dysfunction.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.