Health jokes

What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?

I personally think cereal is not nutritious.

My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.

Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.

Why did the tamale go to the hospital?

because estava malito :)

Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.

What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?

Acne comes on your face when you're 13.

When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.

A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".

The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.

One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.

All germs are from GERMany.

Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.

Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?

Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.

What do you call a homosexual in a coma?

A fruit and a vegetable!

l li

ll l_

What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?

You Fallout.

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"