Health jokes
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
This is Sally.
Sally says hi.
This is Sally when a car comes by. 🤕
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.