Health jokes
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
This is Sally.
Sally says hi.
This is Sally when a car comes by. 🤕
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.