Health jokes
Why do cheetahs have spots?
Chickenpox!
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
Diarrhea.
My brackets are so high on my teeth, they must be smoking something.
What’s the world’s most diseased country?
GerMany.
What do you call a wet condom?
A wet condom.
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
AIDS.
What did Allan say to William, his sister, when he stepped on his toe? "OWWW Mitosis."
Q: What is the hardest part to eat on a cabbage?
A: The wheelchair.
Could it be ligma?
Ligma balls, daddy!