Health jokes
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What comes to visit more often than your aunt? Your acne.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
What kind of nut hates baseball? A nut that’s sick.
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?
Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
What's the best way to cure the hiccups? Suicide.