What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...
But then I changed my mind.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
Duck my sick.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
