Health jokes
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.
Why did the bike fall over? Because I was too tired.
Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning, how are you today?
I have more STDs than Hicks has friends at the moment. I only have one.
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
What's the difference between a computer and a crumpled person? A computer runs.
Baal jharne ke upay?
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
What's the difference between a priest and a zit?
A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
What day should you drink water?
Thursday, Thirstday!
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.