Health jokes
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Covid.
Covid who?
The thing that killed half a billion people!
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
Yo mama is so poor, she makes her own hand sanitizer.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
CANCER!
Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.
Why doesn't Africa have pharmacies?
Because you can't take drugs on an empty stomach.
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type...
His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Why didn't the orange go to the doctor?
Because he had vitamin C.
I don't think I'm allergic to this.
What was I saying again?
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.