Health jokes
What was I saying again?
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
I gave up hope and I liked it!!
I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
My sister said you smell, but then she saw her panties having moles on it.
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
Laila has 69 boobs, but that is 222 too many. One day, she went on 51st Street to meet Dr. X, who ate all her boobs, and now she's boobless :)
6922251 x 8 = 55378008. Put the calculator upside down.
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.
There was a crying pandemic going around.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
What's the best thing about Covid-19? It gets into any kid.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!