Health jokes

Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?

Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.

Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.

I go to Venice to get a bigger penis.

Kids- it's time for Dora.

Kids- YAY!

Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.

Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?

Kids- Where's Dora?

Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.

Kids- Poor Dora.

Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!

Swiper - AH MAN!!

My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.

What's autism! My name is Dee Snutz!

You're so skinny, if someone farts in your direction, you will fly away.

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

Cancer doesn't leave.

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

You fix both with a coat hanger.

The CCP have managed to achieve in making Covid last longer than the Great Wall of China.

The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.

Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."

This joke never gets old. Just like the child.

Yo mama so fat, she needs to go to the gym.

Americans are fat.

My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.

My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.

When did I realize COVID was serious?

When I saw your teeth social distancing.

You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t do drugs.

What do you get when you gobble down sweets?