Health jokes

Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.

Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.

Why am I still alive?

Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...

The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.

We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.

Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.

I respect cancer more than I respect depression.

At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.

My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.

Why do you like cream instead of bugs?

Because bugs can kill you.

Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.

Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.

Why did the doctor get mad?

Because he was losing his patients.

How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.