Head jokes

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

What do penguins wear on their heads?

Snow caps!

"Why is your head big?"

"'Cause you're a ball."

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

This is two heads.

Deaf. "Deep water." ""

- "78 years."

Are you interested again? ""

"If you go ... you are there."

"No. 85 is good."

What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?

So she claims to be.

And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

What happens if you sit under a cow?

You get a pat on the head.

Why don't headless people have a head in class?

Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head and Shoulders.

Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!

The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."