Head jokes

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?

If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.

The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

What do penguins wear on their heads?

Snow caps!

"Why is your head big?"

"'Cause you're a ball."

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head and Shoulders.

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!

What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?

A baby with a javelin in its head!

My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.

ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.