Head jokes

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

What do penguins wear on their heads?

Snow caps!

The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.

"Why is your head big?"

"'Cause you're a ball."

Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.

Why don't headless people have a head in class?

Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head and Shoulders.

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

What happens if you sit under a cow?

You get a pat on the head.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.