Head jokes

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

What do penguins wear on their heads?

Snow caps!

"Why is your head big?"

"'Cause you're a ball."

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head and Shoulders.

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!

This is two heads.

Deaf. "Deep water." ""

- "78 years."

Are you interested again? ""

"If you go ... you are there."

"No. 85 is good."

What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.

Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.

The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!

What went through the heads of the people on the 142nd floor during 9/11?

The 143rd floor.

CIA: Where's your head at?

JFK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hey, let’s go, we are heading for the Towers!

Wait, what?

Call 911!

Your hairline is so bad that it looks like you have Ironman's helmet on your head.