Head jokes

Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.

There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.

Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.

5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"

What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.

After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”

The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”

Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

What do penguins wear on their heads?

Snow caps!

"Why is your head big?"

"'Cause you're a ball."

Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.

Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"