Head jokes

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

"Police control! Have you been drinking?"

"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"

"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"

A book just fell on my head. I’ve got only my shelf to blame!

If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.

Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?

Panera head.

Your hairline looks like it was drawn onto your head.

My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

Yo head built like 2 parentheses.

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.

Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.

I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.

"Poo heads."

What has a tail, a head, but no body?

A coin.

What do you call a favorite joke that isn’t your favorite?

None fave. Foch heads.

Man 1: Knock knock.

Man 2: Who's there?

Man 1: Ice.

Man 2: Ice who?

Man 1: I crushed your head.

My name is Devonair.

When I get a haircut, it's always bald.

Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."

My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*

I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

Why is the elephant headed God the true God?

Because he doesn't exist!