Head jokes
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?
You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
What went through the heads of the people on the 142nd floor during 9/11?
The 143rd floor.
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
Your hairline is so bad that it looks like you have Ironman's helmet on your head.
CIA: Where's your head at?
JFK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
Hey, let’s go, we are heading for the Towers!
Wait, what?
Call 911!
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.
A book just fell on my head. I’ve got only my shelf to blame!