Head jokes
What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?
You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
We gotta work ahead, people!
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
CIA: Where's your head at?
JFK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
What went through the heads of the people on the 142nd floor during 9/11?
The 143rd floor.
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
Your hairline looks like it was drawn onto your head.
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
Hey, let’s go, we are heading for the Towers!
Wait, what?
Call 911!
Your hairline is so bad that it looks like you have Ironman's helmet on your head.
If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.