Head

Head jokes

Cow

    • There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.

    The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"

    The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."

    The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."

    The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"

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    • Head memes

    Man

    • It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

    9mm

    • How do Americans learn the metric system?

    9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.

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    • Butt

    • Me: Hey, have you seen my butt?

    Him: No, have you seen where it is?

    Me: Maybe here on your private part hehe.

    Him: *dumps my head on the toilet* HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW, PERVERT?

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    • Nickel

    • Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."

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    • Asylum

    • There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

    So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

    So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

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    • India

    • What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?

    You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.

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    • Lightbulb

    • How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.

    Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!

    Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.

    (mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)

    Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?

    All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”

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    • 9/11

    • Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.

    What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀

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    • Immortal

    • Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

    Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

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