What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
What did the headless horseman say to the woman?
"Give me head."
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
(Bully) Boy, you ugly!
(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.
While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."
So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"
Did you know princess Dianna had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders “ on the backseat of her car
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
