Head Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. 'Why are you early, it is not even christmas?' - ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Lets worry about you instead' says Santa. What is the problem my friend?' - I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i'll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!

Whats steven hawkins favourite shampoo? Head and shoulders

What did the rape victim give to her rapist?

Head

have i told you the joke about the airplane, ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head

the last thing that went through abe licolins head was a bullet

A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house. So she stuck her head outside and heard 'Hairy butt', so she named the House hairy butt. The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him. So she stuck her head outside and heard 'crack, so she named the baby crack. After a year or two she lost him so she called the police and said'Help! I looked all over my hairy butt but I couldn't find my little crack.

I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.

Roses are red, I like girls from the south, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kids head and farting in his mouth.

What has a head and tail but no legs? A penny

I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head, and into the twin towers.

What is white ,black ,and red and can't fit through a revolving door. a nun with a spear through her head

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was out ice fishing, and had no nibbles all morning. About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg." I said "Excuse,me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said." Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"