Have jokes
Why do ducks have feathers?
So you don't see their butt. *quack* (crack)
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. I have too many problems.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
Jaylie 😠: I don't care, what he said was so out of line!
Harvey 😁: It's funny!
Jaylie😠 : He said "Stupid, silly bitch face I raised! I should have known!" That's not funny, Harv!
Harvey 🙁: Come on Jay. Give Chris a chance?
Jaylie 🙄: Sorry but I'm a stupid, silly bitch face he raised. He should have known!
Harvey😟: That's not true!
Jaylie 😣: He even made fun of Kalierien. She is so sensitive!
Harvey 😡: SHUSH!!!!
Kalierien😡: Hi guys, how's your day?
Harvey😁: Good!
Jaylie 🤬: Mine was like living in hell!
Kalierien: 🤬SAME!!!!!
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.