Have jokes

What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

How is slavery different from Pokémon?

The types you can have.

I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.

Why do orphans only have 363 days?

They don’t have Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?

A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.

What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What’s the most played song in Africa?

Have you ever seen the rain?

Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.

Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.

What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?

They both broke and everybody cried.

The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."

A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.

The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."

The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."

There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."

Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.

Why did God build a stairway to heaven?

So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.

What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?

What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

And microtransaction.

I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?

I have a dog named Syndrome.

But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.