I wish my lawn was emo so I would not have to cut it would cut itself
Why do female para-chutist's have to wear tampon's before they jump ?
So they don't whistle on the way down !
Kids uncle " your mum said you can have your friends round tonight ! But imma have to baby sit today" . Kid "OK THANK YOU". (AT BED TIME ) Kid " Please may u stop touching my leg BEN!" Ben "im not " (turns light on ) Kid " UCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME !!!"
The streets go blank in the dead of the day not a car to be seen A kingdom of corona-cation and it looks like moms the queen The wind is howling with this virus in the air Couldn't keep it in china everyone knows it's everywhere Don't let friends in don't be afraid Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal don't feel your insanity That the virus caused!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Turn away and slam your doors! I don't care what the government says! Let me go to my friends house Sickness doesn't get to me anyway. It's funny how some distance makes everyone insane And the fears that once controlled me are here and present oh well! It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through! No right no wrong but stay inside! WERE NOT FREEEE!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I'll stay!! Cause I have nothing better to do The virus flurries through the air into my house! The storm is spiraling fear and fractals all around!! And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!! What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past???? DONT LET IT GO DONT LET IT GO!! And you'll rise at the break of noon! DONT LET IT GO DONT LET IT GO!! That's morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT CAUSE THATS WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!!!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.
Ashes to ashes, Priests prever boys, cause they dont have to shave their asses.
Daughter: So, I got my period. Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying! Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying? Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to the another day. Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically) Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless. Obviously.)
As a brother I'm have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that's is going around and those symptoms is that she has big titties, sweat pussy, and a great personality.
Store owner: u have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: please.
Store owner: oh okay but get on ur tippy toes.
Kid: ever body is hugging
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside. Thankfully I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Whyed the emo have to friends"becuase they like to hang by themself"
Why does a orphan have to go to church, cuz thats the only way he can pray for a father.
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
Did you know that if you die you can still be apart of family game night!! all you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass and the games that uses hour glasses well you will be apart of family game night.
I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited. Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister ask me if I want some I said no then my sister ask my friend, and he always said no. Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor we have no ketchup, mustard or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor my sister ok. My sister left the kitchen to get something. I ask my friend what are you going to do then he took the hotdog bread open it and run is penis all around, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread then my sister came back My sister came back put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready she ate them I ask how was the hotdogs. My sister said I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty.
Dad: no Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then ask him can I have some your burrito he said yeah. I said whatever. A few minutes my mom told me to cut the lawn I said why do I have to do it that why he there for. My mom said he going to do the burrito for me then I said okay. I finish cutting the lawn I wen tin the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom what are you doing my mom said what does it look like. I having my burrito. The landscaper told me that I miss a spot while cutting the lawn.
Y did the csi team have to go to the purple rain shoot? ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤bc they had to dust for prince hahaha
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school. I had to listen to it at twenty four seven, after that I sang the song the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎
My joke: You have to guess answers come at 3:00 Why did the cow jump in space
Hint... it smelled it fav food 🍱 and saw his futu
That hint was technically the whole awnser can you guess in 3 hours lol I will be posting every time and my give away starts at 5:00 my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs
