Have To jokes

Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.

If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

Bryce: What?

Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

P.S. I'm a girl.

What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?

I have to Pikashoe.

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?

Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

Why'd the emo have no friends?

"Because they like to hang by themself."

Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.

Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.

I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.

How is toilet paper recycled?

Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.

I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.

Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.

Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?

They have to see food to eat.

When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.