I got in trouble at school today bc I played the knife game with a pair of scissors but I couldn't flip them off bc I was missing that finger.
Their once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he worte with the other hand. He got left behind
Are you happy to see me or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and detonator in your hand?
why is it bad to high five an emo.. they will leave themselves hanging
Me: *looks at persons hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
People always ask what the secret of our families happiness is. It is simple really. 1 Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week. 2. We all give each other a hand when needed. Last but not least we play twister.
I'd make a masturbation joke. But they always get out of hand.
Instead of Edward scissor hands I’m Edwardscissor wrists
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off
I go into get a prostate exam, I'm nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said “ That was the sound of the north wind. The next day his teacher asked the class “ What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew the answer would be a comb or a piano but technically if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them they have teeth but can't chew with them
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me "Yeah I can read braille". So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read "Screw you, asshole"
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
there was a animal on my porch then i shot in the head it was strange that it had coffee in its hand, i flipped it over and it was an animal but it looked a lot like my kid.
Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
What did one skeleton say to the other? skeleton1:"I need a hand!" skeleton2:(Throws up hand) skeleton1: "That wasn't very humerus." skeleton2: "Why do you have to be so heartless." skeleton1: "At least I had the guts to tell you"
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
