Knock knock Who's there Knock knock WHO'S THERE "Starts putting up hand sighs"
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal. It got too out of hand and I got spanked
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
my girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a gluestick. she still isn't talking to me
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
what do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand s"
X【╦̵̵͇̿̿̿̿══╤─ I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22.caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life, His hands where a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike ? Hey look...no hands...or legs.
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finallly text her boyfriend ̈ Show me your dick now ́
If you're happy and you know it clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad How did Helen Keller drew? With her hand
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.
Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.
In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.
Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him Rachel said. Watch two martial arts movies , eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar. Jim replied with a shocked look, that's what I do after Mr tugman shakes my hand to long.
Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
“These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells.”
“oh cool”
“this is mother Teresa’s clock, the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied.”
“Makes sense”
“This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice.”
“Where’s Trump’s clock”
“Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan.”
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
