
Hand jokes
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!