Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks? That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
Life has ups and downs and they had downs
i made a website for orphans it has no homepage
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents. " Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white." The mother rushes the boy to the hospital while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm. "How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" He exclaims. The wife looks up at him. "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection."
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”.
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!”
WHAT HAS A HEART BUT NO ORGANS
A DECK OF CARDS!!!!!!
'
i am a bad punner
The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service. EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.
What has 4 legs and two gloves
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates
Your life can't be a joke, a joke has meaning.
A guy does not know anything. Oh wait he has dementia.
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common? I don’t care if she has one
tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast
is it just me or ever body has a Darkside like a psycho side and then you act like crazy for some reason
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it
