HA jokes
What's long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cuCUMber.
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Because every show has a cast. Get it, LOL?
Memes
Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!
Q: Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
A: Because every play has a cast.
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
These are bee puns.🐝
I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝
I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝
(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
Why do orphans get iPhones 11?
Because it has no home page.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.