Q: Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
A: Because every play has a cast.
HA Jokes
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
These are bee puns.🐝
I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝
I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝
(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
Why do orphans get iPhones 11?
Because it has no home page.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
Why is Donald Duck the president? Because Donald Trump has a duck.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
I made a website for orphans.
It has no homepage.
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
