HA jokes

What's the difference between me and my best friends?

At least one of us has a house.

http://zebrahumor.wordpress.com has more zebra jokes.

Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.

What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.

Why does an orphan go to church?

So it has someone to call father.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

The Leaning Tower of Pisa has good reflexes.

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

Bully: Ha, guess what?

Nerd: What?

Bully: You are adopted.

Nerd: At least I was wanted!

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.

Q: Why did the orphan buy an iPhone X?

A: Because it has no home button.

"Balls in Jack, Jack has balls in his mouth."

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!

What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?

He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.