HA Jokes

What has more brains than Kurt Cobain ? The wall behind him.

Why doesn't the Sun go to college? -- Because it has a million degrees.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don't care if she has one.

Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.

Knock Knock! Who's their? It's Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?

McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.

What is the richest planet?

Saturn 🪐- It has many rings.

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! Thats not going to help!" She said. "Sure it does." he said. "Its the only way i can see the numbers."

A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" She asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.

one day little billy came in pulling up his pants the teacher asks "Where have you been billy" he says on top of beverly hill a few minutes later little willy came in the teacher asked where have you been he says on top of beverly hill 10 minutes later little johnny came in teacher says again where have you been ha says on top of beverly hill a few minutes later a girl came in the teacher says who are you she says i'm beverly hill