Chuck Norris has been to Mars...that's why there is no signs of life there.
your foreheads so big that it has its own gravitational pull
what has three balls and flys through space?
E.T. the extra testicle
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus` wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck? I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan has all their teeth intact.
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
Error code 404 "Will to live" not found
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing? A: A knife has a point
Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she's going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he's Doing REALLY Well
I respect cancer more than I respect depression. At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed. But she has to. She's his mom.
What's the difference between a knife and my life? A knife has a point
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says "my brother has just been hit by a car." The policeman replied with "OK then first I need to know your name." "Shut up" "No, I need to know your name." "Shut up." "Excuse me but where are your manners." "Round the corner picking up shit."
