They say the first time doesn't work third times the charm ha not
The Average French Car has 7 Gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
..their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels
Three nuns had to go before mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says have you sinned? Yes I have mother I have stolen a bicycle. Okay said mother Superior okay said mother Superior say 100 holy Marys and put dip your hand in the holy water... Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned she slept with a married man.. so mother Superior says okay save 500 hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way the third nun comes up and she says I peed in the holy water ๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐๐๐
Yo mama's so fat, her car has stretch marks.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer; The front row of a Trump Rally!
A girl named Sally has no arms. "KNOCK KNOCK" She never answered...
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock โWhoโs there?โ Not Susie.
A cement mixer has ยญcollided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself" He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
Holly shit there's so many yo mama jokes Heres mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the twin towers Yo mama so old that she has jesus's autograph Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her Yo mama so dumb that she thought rocket league was a competition between kids in wheelchairs
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore
Because he has holes in his feet.
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies. Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out. Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.
DR Brody: Sir your son has a disease called boofa dad: whats boofa? DR Brody: both of these nuts in your mouth
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
A womens knitters group is having a meeting and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies. One woman says "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system". Another knitter says "I'm taking Folic acid to help my baby's brain". Finally one woman says "I'm taking Thalidomide". All the women turn to her and say "Thalidomide ! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?" The woman shrugs her shoulders and says "I don't know how to knit arms". (Told to me by a woman knitter)
