HA jokes
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
A girl named Sally has no arms.
"KNOCK KNOCK"
She never answered...
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.