Guy

Guy Jokes

What is the difference between shroud and a shroud imposter

Shroud uses reddit, and the imposter uses WJE

reddit king and q, i really dgaf what you say, you guys are practically obsessed with me cuz ur leaving hate comments on almost all my jokes, so stop, your obviously gonna look bad if you just insult meh jokes

If you guys dont like my jokes, you can just dislike and not leave a comment, ok?

It was raining sadly all day my wife my 2 daughters and me stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died

Wife:😭😭😭I wish this never happened

Mia our first daughter: momy it’s ok I love whenever I see you🥰🥰

Abby our second daughter: I love u all only if you guys die I won’t but I love you when ur alive 😉😏

Me husband: what kind of nonsense was that you love us when we’re alive but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓

Everyone except abby: abby this is serious mommy’s mother and father died. says Mia: yes your mom is sadly down right now you made her more sad😡🤬.says dad:sniffs* abby I had made a discussion I will take to an orphanage I am sorry 😣 when I amd better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back.says mom:

This was not a joke I just did this for Love 💕

3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"

3

The man walks into a bar reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player the piano player starts playing the piano, the guy next to him asks where did you get that, the man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes, so the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside he says to the genie I want a million bucks, the genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks appear in the road, the man comes back inside and says hey that genie is a little hard of hearing, the man says well did you really think I'd ask for a 12-in pianist

one day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER" the guy said. So the duck walked away. The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha

There was a guy I knew who owned a foot high piano player? He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish. The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf as all he got was a 12 pianist.

So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urnel......Later on I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because well he probably had to go but yeah he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urnel so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part