Guy

Guy jokes

Girlfriend

Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

She’s so nice.

Memes

Doctor

Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.

Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.

Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.

Head

What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?

Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!

Kid

I’m am very sad that you guys are making fun of adopted kids because I am adopted :( :( 😢 🥺 😢 😭😭

Rope

Why did the guy bring a rope to the party?

Because he wanted to hang out... permanently. 💀😈

Ball

Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?

Because they don't have titties.

Family

What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.

Baby

GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.

Aisle

A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"

Wordplay

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

Cliffhanger

I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!

Face

Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:

Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm