Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1."Hang" out with me Or 2."Jump" 1 times? Me...e-eh?...Why not both?????we could just "Jump while "Hanging" out right?
Hey guys Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone he says there name really loud. Billy-Hey guys I just got back from my DADS!! Wait what Billy??
A Man Gets Captured By Cannibals Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
a student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick and the guy was about to nut. the school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone
I was out ice fishing, and had no nibbles all morning. About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg." I said "Excuse,me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said." Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic. Next, google 'God in Aramaic'. See the results for yourself. <3
how do you break up blind people in a fight? scream i put my money on the guy with the knife
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb? “You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!”
Guys I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things. *proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game sonic x? Just google sonic x shadow
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation.....
Guys it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096? The Spy Guy!
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys. American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun. African XP farms: Cotton field.
Hey guys can we stop making these jokes, If my mom sees this I will never see the sun again. Oh . . . :( continue
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11. My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
Your hairlines so far back even bill nye the science guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
guys depression can not be turned into a jock
Grandma: you guy’s generation is on to much technology. Kid: well your the ones that raised us. Other family members: ...
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
“Okay guys, watch very carefully because i can only show you this demonstration once.”
