Guy jokes

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?

He got hearing aids.

What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?

Fall Guys.

Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?

A: Ow!

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.

It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he replies.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.

Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏

Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.

What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?

Answer: a Carnivwhore.

What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?

Fruit Loops.

We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

The boys joking be like:

One guy: "Balls!"

All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"

I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.