Guy jokes

How do you surprise a blind guy?

Say, "Surprise!"

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

Hey guys, I haven't been on in like freaking forever! Sorry. Anyways, I love you, Emerald! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I hope you're on!

Love you all. Hope you all have a nice day, Best regards, Koko, <3

What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?

This guy, yep, this guy right here.

Guys, I'm back...

Here's my joke:

What is blue and red all over?

Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”

A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"

What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)

It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.

If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.

What did the fat guy say to the tree?

"Get me some coconuts!"

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3

A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."

So I replied, "No, it doesn't."

What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?

RoboCop.

Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?

Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."

An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.

Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...

An orphan.