What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
Do you need an ark? Because I No-ah guy!
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.
Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA
Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
