Whats the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
I am sick and tired of horror movies it is always the stupid ones that die first. when you see a guy in a dark bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; Don't scream run.
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
Guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud this is the pig I screw when your on the rag and is wife replies that's not a pig its a sheep and he says I was talking to the sheep.
Why did the guy get the hose
Because the girl was smoking hot
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth... I don't have any now.
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice. Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
what did the ocean say to the other ocean. nothing he just WAVED. did you SEA what I did there. GUY: yes are you SHORE
There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
Hey guys I’m back just wondering if any one is still on this that wants me to make more
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family
why did the black guy cross the road, because he wanted to.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators, One night he has a party and says,"whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says,"wow I can't believe you did it! So whats your prize?" the guy says,"I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the B@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
hey look its that TRAINS gender guy he says i like trains uh o
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face I offered to call an ambulance but he said he was fine
what do you call a guy named Ben
answer= Ben
How can you tell a Asian guy is awake
You can never tell
Steven Hawkings Sesh Cave, Entry 50p, Guaranteed Budweiser and Ectasy. Maybe A Gram of Heroin, You'll most likely see a mental 90 year old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.
