Gun jokes

Teacher: Tell me a moral story.

Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.

Teacher: What is the moral even?

Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.

This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"

The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."

The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."

Do the voice in your head.

Vegan Teacher the musical.

Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"

Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶

Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵

Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵

Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"

- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.

I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.

I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.

The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.

There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

What's the difference between a gun and a penis?

The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.

"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"

Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.

Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?

Their focus is always off.

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"