I don't call it suicide. I call it population control
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
What’s the only time you can do almost whatever you want
When you have a gun in you hand
Expectation: Brr, I’m cold! Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!
Reality: Brr, I’m cold! Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather.
I like my women like I like my traction control disabled.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-" me: power button
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day 😮💨
Slavery and disciplinen it's kind of the same thing you get whipped for doing the wrong thing
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator
i'ts best not to say hail satan because he can't control the weather!
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar just kidding he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours
If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short term memory disorder and dyscalculia so please remember that no-one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
What is the difference between an Isis training, camp and a school?
Not sure I just fly the drone
How did Voldemort lose his nose? From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!!!
What do you call a bird orgie?
No bird control.
