Green jokes

When do you go on red and stop at green?

A watermelon.

Mexican words of the day: Green, Pink, and Yellow :))

The phone go green green... I pink it up and say YELLOW!!??

Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.

Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...

What's green and bad for your teeth?

A green brick.

What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?

He got gangryeen.

Gangrene+green+angry

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

Roses are red, clovers are green.

I love your legs and what's in between. LOL

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

What's green and has a thousand nipples?

A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.

Violets are blue, or green, so is your face so ugly, too.

What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.

Roses are red.

Grass is green.

I think of you sucking my peen.

I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.

I remarked, "You lazy!"

What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?

A frog in a blender.

What is red, pink, and goes round and round?

A baby in a blender.

What is green, brown, and goes round and round?

The same baby 3 weeks later.

Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.

What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?

A black woman dressed for church.

Yo mama so ugly, she looks like a green bean with googly eyes.

Katsuki Bakugou went into a bar and said: "Where is that damn nerd?!?". Everyone was confused.

Bakugou says: "Tell me where Deku is or I'll kill you!" He kills them all because they all have green hair.

Let's chat here, sisters!

Kariah, blue heart!

Lariah, pink heart!

Iariah, yellow heart!

Me, green heart!