Hospital Bed jokes

I went to visit my friend's sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him, he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn."

Suddenly, right in front of me, he passed. Later that night, I translated his last words, and they were, "You're standing on my oxygen tube."

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?

"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"

A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.

The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.

One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.

I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.

The wheels on the bus go round and round!

I got kicked out of a hospital once. I told all the COVID patients to stay positive.

What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?

My heartbeat.

What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?

... A FLATLINE!

How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?

Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.