Grandpa jokes

Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.

My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.

Me: *Realizes*

My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.

I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"

My great grandpa killed Hitler.

I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"

Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.

Me: Cool, what rank of officer?

Jim: SS.

Me:...

I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"

Two of my grandpas died in WW2.

Their tower fell over.

I still remember my grandpa's last words.

"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"

No witnesses.

My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.

Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.

Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!

My grandpa has the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.

A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"

Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.