Grandpa Jokes

I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"

My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.

I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"

I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder

Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.

My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.

Me: *Realizes*

bruh

The text on the image reads: "The very first time Grandpa takes your nose." Below is a picture of Grogu (Baby Yoda) with a surprised expression.

My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"

No witnesses.

Two of my grandpas died in WW2.

Their tower fell over.

My Grandpa Has the Heart of a Lion. and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.

Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!

When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.

My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.

My grandpa died in 9/11, he was a great pilot

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.

A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"

One day Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar. Johnny said, "Can I have a puff?"

Grandpa said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"

Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."

Later that day, Johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink. Johnny said, "Can I have a sip?"

Grandpa said the same thing, "Can your dick touch your ass?"

Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."

Later that night, Johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchen. Grandpa said, "Hi son, can I have a cookie?"

Johnny said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"

Grandpa said, "Yes."

Johnny said, "Good, go fuck yourself!"

My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"