Grandpa Jokes

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the twin towers he will pop up. Also, my moms great grandpa killed Hitler

I love my grandpa, he killed Hitler

My grandpa lost his toe today😔.....nvm we found it's in his TOEtruck

my grandpa's last words were before died in vietnam was what fuck did i step on..........

Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”

I guess grandpa took the elevator to heaven. he definitely didn't make it up the stairs

It want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head

1:My grandpa died last year 2:What kind of cancer? 1:He was hit by a bus! its called bus cancer

What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket? Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.

my grandfather has the heart of a lion!!🦁

in a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo.....

What did mum say when grandpa called? Boomerang.

My grandpa was in 911. He was the best pilot.

My mother was so sad after my grandpas death she went into the bathroom with my uncle and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on saying that she was pregnant.

At school, bobby boy's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "why are you crying". Bobby says "someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die". His mom looks him straight in the eye and says "depends, which one are you referring to?"

a little girl said one day " grandmas gonna die tonight". the next morning the girl's grandmother's body was found. that day she said again " Grandpas gonna die tonight" sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning. that day she said " daddy's gonna die tonight." the girls father was terrified. he lay shaking the entire night. somehow, he survived until morning. his wife came into the room crying. he asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.

One day a boy asks his grandfather for some money, and the grandpa says “well can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy replied “no”. So the grandpa says “okay.” And leaves it at that and walks off. A few years later the boy asks his grandfather for some money again and his grandfather once again asks “can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy proudly says “yes it can.” To which the grandpa says “good, now go fuck yourself.”

my grandpa died to ligma :(

LIGMA BALLS

What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?

"boy, could you put my phone on charging?"

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks... "Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."