People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.
Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
I love my grandpa, he killed Hitler.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandpa is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandma is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!
Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!
Survives until tomorrow.
Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*
Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!
(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.
Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
When you find out your great grandpa killed Hitler.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
My grandfather has the heart of a lion!! 🦁
In a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo...
Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?
To get the ice cream for the grandma.
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.
My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
