Grandma Jokes

Please read all of it I know it's long please read all of it.

This dad heard his daughter praying as she was praying she came to an end: " Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died the dad thought it was just coincidence so he carried on his day. At night he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. After he heard goodbye grandma his facial expression changed and went straight to bed. The next morning the grandma died out of nowhere the dad began to worry and continued on his day, at night he heard his daughter again " Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad got scared so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there so that's what he did. When he got home the next day his wife asked where he had been and he replied back " Sorry honey I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: " OH YOU THINK YOU HAD A BAD THE MAILMAN JUST DIED ON THE FRONTPORCH THIS MORNING" If you get it you get it.

The other day while I was going down on my grandma , I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her !!!!!

My son asked me “ what is angel cake made of?” I reply by listing the ingredients in mr Kipling angel cakes, Then he shouts “STOP” I stop as I reach food colourings he slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper “well in my angel cake I put angels in them” I freaked out about this so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake he said”grandma the one who died last Saturday”

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.

Your grandma is pretty old she’el die soon

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

Guy: Hey siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up? Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed

My grandma just died from cancer

My last words to her were “I like your cut g”

WHY DID THE GRANDMPA LEAVE THE HOUSE TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE???? TO GET THE ICE CREAM FOR THE GRANDMA

my grandmas got 99 problems but a fat butt aint one of em

If I wanted to hear beeping I wouldn’t have pulled my grandmas cord to live

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

My grandma stubbed her toe in a elevator in september 21st

i went to the store because i ha to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because i was playing mario kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma lik if yu creyre everitime

Little Johnny was staying at his grandparents house and he asked his grampa can I a cigarette and his grampa said well can your dick touch your asshole he said no. Then that's your answer. A little bit later little Johnny asked for a beer his grampa said well can you dick touch your asshole he said a I already said no. Well that your. Later he was complaining to his grandma and she him cookies. His grandpa came up to him and said can I have a cookie little Johnny said well can your dick touch your asshole his grampa said well yes it can and little Johnny said well go fuck yourself old man because these are my cookies.

My dad told me "No electronics at the table", so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

grandma: calls you: hello grandma what are you doing why you can’t mean I’m right in the house right now grandma: I didn’t mean To call you bye

Orphans smell like Grandma cunt