Grammar jokes
Do you know your E?
You're E tarded.
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡
Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐
Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬
Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱
Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*
Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤
Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨
Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠
Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤
Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮
Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫
Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕
The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.
What are the sinful letters of the alphabet?
A, B, C you in hell.
Memes
How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
What did the pen say to the pencil? You have a point.
Impossible? I’m very possible, really!
Why was one afraid of every number in the world?
Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.
I love the letters of the alphabet.
What do you call someone without a body?
Nobody.
M to de B, m to de B = master bate.
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
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Spell "I cup."
I see you pee.
I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.
With what do you stuff a dead parrot? His.
I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.
What's the difference between an apple and an apple?
An apple gets picked.