Grammar jokes
Dan, I'd bent.
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
Do you know your E?
You're E tarded.
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡
Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐
Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬
Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱
Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*
Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤
Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨
Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠
Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤
Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮
Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫
Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕
What are the sinful letters of the alphabet?
A, B, C you in hell.
The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.
What did the pen say to the pencil? You have a point.
How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
Impossible? I’m very possible, really!
What do you call someone without a body?
Nobody.
I love the letters of the alphabet.
M to de B, m to de B = master bate.
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
......................................... ........... . . . . . . . . . .
Why was one afraid of every number in the world?
Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.
Spell "I cup."
I see you pee.
I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.
I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.