Grammar jokes
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
The boy was clapping, then he became clapped.
Memes
Spell IHOP, then say "ness."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
Me: Knock, knock.
Other person: Who’s there?
Me: Atch.
Other person: Atch who?
Me: Bless you!
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.
Woman jokes aren't funny, period.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
Hey, I have a joke!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of its clause!
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
What is the plural of goose? Geese.
What is the plural of foot? Feet.
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
You.