Grammar jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
It's supposed to say "goes," not "goes."
With what do you stuff a dead parrot? His.
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the only contraction they know.
Why did you say not to?
The Past, Present & Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"
A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"
The son: "I don't know, can I?"
The mom: "May you?"
The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"
1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”
2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.
3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.
What is the difference between a comma and a period?
A comma gives you a pause, but a period gives you sleep.
Your Roblox friend counts to 10, but she doesn't count to "too." Then Roblox says: "Damn. Your Roblox friend can't count."
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because seven eight (ate) nine.
Does this sentence make any sense?
Spell "I cup."
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the other contraction they know.