Trump really fractured the US with his 1/6 insurrection...
Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
The Israeli government is the biggest joke of all.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
donald trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
King.
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Labor party.
