Government jokes

"Water exists."

Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.

Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!

NASA stands for "Nobody asks scientists anymore."

If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?

Therianarchy!

What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?

Not my problem.

Your mom is as fat as NASA's company.

Trump did 1/6.

Where did George go?

Washington, D.C.

Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?

Because they lost two towers already.

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.

It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.

Why are Nepalese 🇳🇵 bad at chess?

Because someone already killed their 👑.

A: Knock knock.

B: Who's there?

A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.

B: Package from Te-?

A: BOOM!

What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?

A dictator.

Where did the king put his armies?

In his sleevies.

If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA