Government jokes
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
Okay, the joke's over. Bring back Trump!
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
My name is Joe Biden, and I am running for US Senate.
"Let's go Brandon!"
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Donald Trump is a good president and not a complete moron.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.