Government jokes
Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Trump did 1/6.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
Where did George go?
Washington, D.C.
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
Your mom is as fat as NASA's company.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dictator.
NASA stands for "Nobody asks scientists anymore."
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.
Where did the king put his armies?
In his sleevies.