Government jokes
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
ememe
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
"In my opinion, JFK was the best president."
"Why?"
"He was very open-minded!"
My name is Joe Biden, and I am running for US Senate.
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
Trump's coming back.
Yes, yes~.
Trump's coming back!
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Where did George go?
Washington, D.C.
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Putin's Brain:
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.