Government jokes

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”

George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”

Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

Trump did 1/6.

Why does Britain suck at chess?

They lost their queen.

Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.

Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?

To-do list.

Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.

I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.

"Welcome to the gulag."

What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?

Not my problem.

If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?

Therianarchy!

Your mom is as fat as NASA's company.

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!

NASA stands for "Nobody asks scientists anymore."

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.