Government

Government jokes

State

    • What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?

    Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔

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    • President

    • Hillary Clinton is elected president...

    And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

    The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."

    She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

    The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

    The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."

    She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

    On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

    The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."

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    • Government memes

    Prison

    • Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.

    He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.

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    • Brownie

    • Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.

    "Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.

    "Indeed, they are," he was told.

    "Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"

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    • 911

    • Every 911 joke isn't that good.

    Well, at least not until they come crashing down.

    Lawyer

    • What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?

    They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.

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