Government jokes
When people are ready to die for their country:
Trust the Unionist Party.
Better than Reform.
Trump, just why?
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer: Keri Lake!
Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
My bro had siblings who survived they could have helped him at any moment and now we have people around with the last name Hitler.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.
Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today…
…He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
Donald Trump didn't even finish the wall. He should have hired Mexicans to do it!
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.