Government jokes
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
Gun control...
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
Hillary Clinton
Censorship is trash. It doesn’t stop people from spreading hate anyways.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
Want to hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
Q: What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? A: Magic!