Government jokes
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
Ah shit, here they come
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!